At the age of 18 years old, I was delivering mail in a small town. I remember delivering parcels to this lovely couple down the street from my childhood home. This lovely old couple was always buying new clothes for their grandkids. I wish I could’ve met my grandpa. This song made biking from house to house just a bit easier.
Before I came to school here, there was a beautiful woman in my life. Every day I’d wake up excited to open up my dresser to see what outfit I should wear for the day, something that might even impress her. Now I don’t care what I wear half the time. My mind back then, when it all collapsed, was tinted in beige, much like these photos. It took me a while to realize beige is a warm, inviting color.
Coffee in the middle of the night, staying up for one reason or another while rain strikes the wind chimes and metal buckets outside, something about it stirs french vanilla creamer in my dark roasted mind. The rain sings a song most think is sad, but I get so happy when I hear it. The smell of coffee mixed with the crisp rainy air, with this song turned on. I’ll never forget that night.
Developing confidence is one of the most important things a man can do. The moment I joined the Archery club on campus, my self-esteem had sky-rocketed. Not just for my ability in the sport, but also as a person. Something about laser-focused discipline and honing my craft at each practice helped me realize I can apply my efforts anywhere and see success.
Encountering a deer antler on my road trip was not on my list of things to expect. I guess it is a bone, so it wouldn’t really get eaten. I meditated on the fact that this once rested on the head of a living thing. I was saddened to think of the fate of that animal, but I also gained a newfound appreciation for life and the ability to leave something beautiful behind. This song makes me feel like I can do that.
Fear of death. How does one overcome that? When I held both antlers in my hand, I wondered what would become of me. Mortality and the puzzling thoughts that come with it have alluded philosophers for ages. I don’t think I have an answer for these questions, and I think that’s okay. All things must end. Life, despite having an end, can still be beautiful.
Going to an archery competition was one of the most exhilarating experiences I’ve had in a while. When this song played on my playlist when we rolled up, I knew it’d be a great day. Seeing everyone’s bows lined up on these racks made me feel like I was part of something much bigger than myself. Every bow was unique, with a story to tell and a real person behind it.
Here in my room, I stare at this wall whenever I ponder ideas. It sits just above my computer monitor. I couldn’t possibly neglect all the time I’ve spent at this desk, ideating, killing time, working, doing homework. Sometimes life is not that exciting, sometimes you’re just at a desk, staring at a wall. Sometimes it’s the little things in life that can bring joy in times like these. I totally dance to this song all alone in my room.
I don’t think I could think of a better song that reminds me of my father. I remember the long nights, arguing over good music, and whether classic rock is dead. He’d switch on the TV to MTV to prove his point. He is unequivocally an 80’s man. I think, if there’s one thing he and I can agree on when it comes to music: the 80’s really did it right.
Just in time for Thanksgiving season, we always hang our holiday calendar on this old sconce we never actually use. I don’t know why but I always play this song for myself when I set up for the holidays. I feel the soul of fall and winter wisp through my body with the pure acoustic presence of Dan Bern.
Kinda weird, but when I was a kid, I used to think these small mirrors were little windows to another world. I mean, I was too short to see that they were just mirrors. Now I stand between them and spot my passing reflections as I walk. Where I once saw portals, I now see a letter. I’d like to think my imagination isn’t gone, it’s just changed.
Leaving Fullerton College to come to CSUF felt like I was moving away from the family home to a school dorm. I felt like I was waving goodbye to fond memories and all familiarity. I listen to this song when I miss someone far away, or perhaps a time long gone. No matter how many miles or years separate us, my love will always be felt. The sun dawns through the stairs of CSUF, reminding me of grand new horizons.
My days alway start early. I wake up, whether it’s for work or school, at the crack of dawn. There was a time where I would play this every morning. A song like this sets a positive mood for me to melt into the day with, like adding honey to my morning tea. When I leave the house, I’m greeted by the gate leading outside. I always use this part as a handle; a handle to a gate that opens all the possibilities of today.
New semesters always get so stressful, and for a myriad of reasons. Will I get my waitlisted classes? Do I have the right room? How hard will my classes be? Will I make new friends? Putting so much effort into a semester just to reset into a new one seems both liberating and daunting. As long as I have this song to rock to, and a chair to sit and do my homework on, I can take on any semester.
One afternoon, I rode the neighborhoods with my electric skateboard. There were no cars around, So I decided it would be fun to ride the roundabout as many times as I could until I got sick of it. This song accompanied my circular journey, with only one thing on my mind: how some of the best things the world has to offer are cyclical. Not just physically, but metaphorically too.
Permeating through the air were the vibes of summer. Everyone was still riding the coattails of the break, nobody quite ready to face the school year yet. Discoverfest is today and I’m helping table for a club. I had to walk down a few flights of stairs. I feel the blazing residuals of the summer heat hit me as I walk, hands full of table supplies. There’s nothing more summer than a Day Wave song at the Discoverfest field.
Questioning is only natural, right? I have so many questions and for so many things. Why do I set such high expectations for myself? Who am I really? I look at the charm hanging on my bedroom lamp and deliberate on these thoughts. It helps me find my roots in my Native American heritage, among many others. I ask questions perhaps to nobody, perhaps to God, but I always leave with even more. But why would I want all my questions answered? I think it’s more interesting that way.
Recalling my time as a child again, I vividly remember looking out the car window on long rides and seeing street lights. I imagined myself as light as a feather, jumping from pole to pole, grazing the clouds and waving to the cars below, and to myself. This longing to be so free, so high up, I still think about it today. I’ll never take my head out of the clouds, that’s where the best ideas are!
Staying home instead of going out as a conscious choice doesn’t always have to be lazy. I remember one day I stayed home all day in the spring, and had a blast just cleaning up the house for the new year. I felt a rush of serotonin hit me when I marveled at my work, I could almost imagine the comically large sparkles glimmering across the whole house. From every single light bulb, to the corner of every shelf, nothing was left undusted that day.
Time is constantly slipping away. Sometimes you just want a night to last forever. I remember getting so sad on the last day of my road trip. I’m never as ready as I think I am when good things come to an end. I always find myself asking for just a bit more time. The clock is my enemy half the time. But I have to remember that time offers me anticipation for things to come. Just as things go, there’s always more to look forward to.
Undeniably a 2000’s classic and I will NOT apologize for loving this song. I used to have an IPod that had only 50-ish songs on it, and this was one of them. When I had no homework and nothing else to do, I’d plug in my wired black and green Skullcandy earbuds into my IPod, sit on the floor next to my parent’s dresser, and absolutely VIBE to this and many other songs. I have such strong nostalgia for that time.
Very rarely, I sometimes like to just… sit. Sometimes I find such fascination in watching how people interact with one another, connect, and make each other smile. During a big book fair at my elementary school, I remember there being a spare metal folding chair propped against a corner. My mom worked for the school at the time, so I always had to find new ways to kill time. I invited myself to sit down and watch a bustling assembly of kids, parents, and colorful books turn into an empty array of plastic tables.
Wow, I feel like it was just a few months ago that I started my journey here at CSUF. Feels like it wasn’t too long ago I was trying out archery for the first time and now I’m in over my head running the whole show. A lot can happen in a year, and paradoxically, a busier year feels even faster than a year of doing nothing. I don’t have much time left here at the school; this song reminds me to make the most of that time and leave this club, this school, better than I found it.
Xenon gas fills the buzzing fluorescent lights. There’s a unique feeling of liminality I feel when exploring CSUF really late at night. This photo is from one of those expeditions. Whether it’s the Kinesiology building, the long hallways of the Humanities, or the strange, haunted halls of McCarthy Hall, this song is playing. I feel like I’m in a whole new dimension when exploring the empty corridors typically filled with students. Without all the students clogging up the space, I built a better appreciation for CSUF architecture.
Yes, I have 2 Vansire songs in here, so what?
August 2022: I went to a river house along the Colorado River. Me and a group of friends all got to hop on a motor boat and experience the river life, river bars, and river people. We would stop the boat, go for a swim, and crack open some Truly vodka seltzers. By the end of each day, I would walk into the house, welcomed by the most relaxing room lamp I’d ever seen. Nothing encapsulates that sleazy summer vibe more than this song.
Zooming down the stairs was my specialty in high school. Anytime I had to go down stairs, I could never do it normally; I had to go down in style. It was probably more dangerous than I realized, but I’d sit sideways on the bars at school and slide all the way down at full speed. I really did think it made me the coolest kid around. I probably didn’t impress a single soul, but the only person I needed to impress back then was myself.